On May 3, 2014 I woke up in the middle of the night my heart beating out of my chest, my sheets covered in sweat – I got up, went to the bathroom, and soaked my face with some water. I looked in the mirror. Who is this person? I honestly didn’t recognize myself. With vacant glassy eyes with dark bags under them, a beet red bloated face, unshaven, hair starting to thin, new gray hairs shinning in the harsh fluorescent light.
How did I get here? What happened? I used to be an elite college athlete – I had a nice jaw line, bright eyes – I was so full of life. When I would travel internationally I was always stopped in shops and on the street because people thought I was an American actor. I looked good, I felt good, I was full of life. You could see it. I could see it. Everyone could see it.
So what happened? Who was this person I was staring at in the middle of the night – how had I fallen so far, so fast, into this? That night I felt terrible – I didn’t go back to sleep – I sat sweating, my body obviously working hard just to stay alive, and watched the sun rise over the city. I have a good job, a nice girlfriend, an amazing dog, but I no longer know who I am. Something has been lost – the chemicals in my body are out of alignment, I am sick, it’s effecting my mind, my body, my emotions, my core being.
So where do I go from here and why should you care? I am confident I am not the only one out there who feels like this – in fact I suspect there are many people who just this past week stood alone, looked in the mirror, and asked am I living life – really living my life?
calm and present is about rebirth – it’s about my journey and your journey to find peace, stillness, and a sense of knowing – not only who you are, but that you are in the right place, living in the now, making every breath count. I look forward to hearing your stories and sharing mine.